can having too much in common become a problem

Perhaps being with somebody who is like you in every way can become a hindrance in making a relationship work, because of its tendency to impede growth and to foster narcissism in an individual.

Having said this, there might be some truth to the saying that opposites attract. There’s nothing entirely wrong with having the same taste in movies, travel destinations, books and perspectives on life. It’s when things go overboard that this “commonality” starts to become a burden. Here are some examples of how this can be made possible:

Lack of space. It’s OK to have activities that you engage in together, like if you do wall climbing, painting classes or backpack traveling. However, this can become an issue if your daily activities are constantly in sync with each other. Being together ALL THE TIME can be unhealthy as well, since one of you is bound to feel suffocated and get on the other’s nerves.

Shrinking your worlds. Since the two of you are constantly together, your worlds are bound to shrink as well. Your relationships with people outside your “sphere of love” deteriorates, you keep cancelling on your appointments with people and you no longer do the things that you used to, simply because your partner isn’t in on it (it might also be because they disapprove of it). Don’t allow this to happen, because it will transform your world into one that revolves around your partner, and this could become a bad thing down the line, especially when they start feeling that you’re constantly breathing down their necks. This is also the cause for the start of insecurity, discontent and to some extreme degree, contempt.

Letting your narcissism get in the way. Making any relationship work requires a constant need for understanding and the ability to be compassionate and considerate towards your partner. Having too much in common with your partner might be misleading on your part, as you might make the mistake of thinking that his or her needs are just the same as yours. Thus, defeating the purpose of making an effort to know your partner better or making an effort to make things work.

Having a lot in common with your partner can’t all be that bad. In fact, it may even be an upside to some, because they find that they understand each other better. Like in every relationship, understanding and consideration may be one of the more important factors to making sure that both your needs are met. The most rewarding of relationships, after all, are that which inspire you to grow individually. Don’t let these “commonality issues” be the reason for your downfall.