coven abuse

Little help is available to those suffering mistreatment in an abusive coven unless they are fortunate enough to connect with an understanding professional or others in the same situation. As a Pagan psychologist only too familiar with such damage, I developed this Coven Abuse Self-Help Index (CASHI) initially to help those in our community dealing with abusive Pagan clergy.

It has now been generalised to fit most pathways, be they Asatru, Buddhist, Celtic, Druidic, Hindu, generic Pagan, Shamanic, Wiccan or Witch. The CASHI is couched in terms of persons within an actively abusive situation, or for those previewing Covens Groves, Circles, Kindreds, Organizations etc. This Index also works well for those choosing individual apprenticeships, serial workshops or longer training situations of a metaphysical or “New Age” nature. Use of the CASHI will hopefully aid novices and others in avoiding common abusive situations that occur in such working groups. I spun the framework of this tool from the main concepts of Issac Bonewits venerable A Bonewits Cult Danger Evaluation Frame which is sometimes a bit confusing to novices as yet unfamiliar with the Pagan milieu. The CASHI was formulated to assist persons new to the metaphysical community and only marginally familiar with psychology in recognizing situations of coven and other organizational abuse. It is also quite suitable for persons at more advanced levels of tenure who may suddenly find themselves in an untenable situation within their group…

Coven Abuse Reality Check
If you are depressed, ill, stressed-out or otherwise in a negative space, take some time out to take a very long hard look at your own situation, motives, attitudes and actions before seeking to place the blame on others. Communication is a two-way street. Are you sure you are effectively communicating your needs to your covenmates and coven leadership? What about your negative perceptions? The worst thing to do is hoard up perceived slights then dump them on an unsuspecting populace. Be a good communicator and honestly discuss your ongoing perceptions with your fellow covenmates and Leadership when necessary. When deciding whether your ill feelings about the Coven stem from your own problems or those of other coveners or Leadership, factor in your own stress levels, emotional life and relative fulfillment level. Even lack of proper diet and exercise can affect your judgment and decision-making capabilities. Make sure you stand as much in Balance as possible before applying the CASHI.

1) Do the Leader/s, Priest/esses or other significant members of the Coven isolate you from people you care about inside or outside of the Coven?

(a) Is there an attempt to isolate you from family or from friends that you had prior to entering the coven?(b) Is there significant factionalism within the coven? Sub-groups that others in the coven point to and suggest or demand you not associate with? One or two persons in the coven that everyone else dislikes but nothing is done about?(c) Is there an “approved list” and/or a “disapproved list” of people, institutions and ideals you should or should not associate with or espouse? 
2) Do the Leader/s or Priest/esses of the Coven levy Coven taxes, dues or “membership fees” in excess of what might be reasonable for photocopying, refreshments served at meetings, and separate from any monies collected upon agreement of the entire Coven?

(a) Do they monitor your finances in any way or demand payments in any form for his/her/their services or “protection”?(b) Do the Leader/s, Priest/esses or other significant members of the Coven behave honorably with regard to their own money and personal possessions? Other people’s money and possessions? 
3) Do the Leader/s, Priest/esses or other significant members of the Coven have repetitive difficulties handling their daily affairs? Are they constantly in crisis, on the edge, depressed, ill, in debt, having family or legal problems, being evicted, etc? Some of this can be chalked up to reasonable “learning experiences” in a spiritual leader’s life journey. Beware of this syndrome if the following occurs:

(a) Are you or others frequently asked to help clean up this person’s life? Constantly being asked to babysit their children while they firefight? Emergency calls to help run them to shop or on other errands not connected with Coven activities? Loan them money?(b) Do the coven leaders or other significant members seem obsessed with cursing or hexing others? Do they blame everything wrong about their lives on others, particularly on spells or hexes they feel they might be under themselves? Are they constantly accusing others of attack, personal or magickal? Are they reliably melodramatic about the supposed threats they are under? 
4) Do the Leader/s, Priest/esses or other significant members of the Coven make a habit of embarrassing or invalidating you or others?

(a) If “yes” to the above, notice with whom and where this happens. In front of other Coveners only? In front of those outside or not connected with the Coven? In secret, just to you, not in front of anyone else?(b) Have you or anyone else become a “coven scapegoat” – a person that is habitually held up to scorn and criticism? Does that person in your estimation deserve the scorn heaped upon them?(c) Are they impeccable with their word or do their words and actions often seem dissonant? Does gossip about yourself or others come back to you, allegedly from Coven leadership? Alternatively, do Coven leaders constantly tell you you have faults because they allegedly hear about them from others? Do they “use” this information against you in any way?(d) Do they “use” other people’s alleged information against you as a substitute for taking a stand themselves or instead of responsibly making you aware of their own perceptions? Do they blame you for things based on the opinions of others they cite without bothering to hear your side of the story? Are you allowed to tell your side and is it responsibly taken into account by the Leader/s, Priest/esses and other significant members of the Coven?
5) Do the Leader/s, Priest/esses or other significant members of the Coven use invalidation and intimidation to make you or others coven members behave as they want?

(a) Do they force you or others to do what you don’t want to do Mentally? Spiritually? Physically?(b) Do they not listen to you when you tell them of your discomfort in forced situations? Do they make fun of your discomfort or constantly chalk it up to a lack of spiritual development on your part?c) Are things like coven secrets, levels of initiation or other information or elevation held over your head to get you to behave the way the Leader/s, Priest/esses or other significant members of the Coven want you to? 
6) Do the Leader/s, Priest/esses or other significant members of the Coven advocate or threaten you or others with violence of any kind?

(a) Have they threatened you or others with physical violence? When? Under what circumstances?(b) Do they treat you/others roughly, or touch you inappropriately?(c) Do they refuse to back off when asked? Do they use excuses for their violent behavior?(d) Do they threaten you or others with spiritual violence or psychic attack? How did you perceive this? (eg; did you perceive it psychically, were you told by the Leader/s, did the alleged victim tell you, etc?)
7) Do others collude with the main Abuser/s in their hurtful behaviors?

(a) How are those persons connected with the Coven? Is there cliquishness involved?(b) How differently are persons inside and outside inner and intra-Coven cliques treated?8) Do the Leader/s, Priest/esses or other significant members of the Coven make you feel miserable, as if there were no way out of your situation in the Coven? Have they told or intimated to you that you will be in this Coven “for life”?(a) Do they forbid you to investigate other covens or to talk to people from other covens or organizations?
(b) Are you encouraged to keep silent about behaviors you witness in coven? Not necessarily oathbound coven secrets which are normal to remain silent about, but about how people treat one another? How interpersonal interactions affect others?9) Are the Leader/s, Priest/esses or other significant members of the Coven frequently angry for seemingly no reason?
(a) Is there one person that always seems to receive the brunt of the Leader/s anger? (Reference 4b, above)
(b) In your opinion has that person done anything to warrant such angry treatment?
10) Do the Leader/s, Priest/esses or other significant members of the Coven exhibit disbelief when you or others confront them with their bizarre behavior?
(a) Do they blame you or others for abuses they have perpetrated on you? (eg; “You made me do it.”)
(b) Do they use “projection” – accusing you or others of perpetrating the same abuses they themselves have perpetrated while staunchly denying their own culpability?

(c) Do they constantly point to “misunderstandings”, yours or others supposed “lack of spiritual growth”, a malignant juxtaposition of the stars or other seemingly thin excuses for their own behavior?

11) Do the Leader/s, Priest/esses or other significant members of the Coven use altered states (including those induced by alcohol or drugs) as an excuse for being abusive?
(a) Do the Leader/s, Priest/esses or other significant members of the Coven engage in abusive behaviors while possessed of Deity/Spirit or in the trance state? If so, is this a solo effort on the part of one or two? A concerted effort on the part of many?
(b) Do they blame Spirit, Deity or drugs for their abusive behavior? Eg; “The God/dess made me do it” -or- “It was the God/dess, not me” -or- “That’s the booze talking, not me.” etc.

12) Do any of the Leader/s, Priest/esses or other significant members of the Coven appear to have a “Jekyll and Hyde” personality? Do they exhibit sudden mood swings, unpredictable behavior and markedly contrasting modes of personal conduct over a period of time that you can recognize as cyclic or patterned behavior? (a) Do you experience incidents of benevolence then sudden violence? Kindness then rage experienced over a significant time period?
(b) Does said person often seem not to know what you are talking about when you refer to past conversation? Do they claim they never said what you know they did? Do they claim you never told them things that you know you did?

13) Are the Leader/s, Priest/esses or other significant members of the Coven hypersensitive to any form of criticism? Do they allow and encourage appropriate constructive criticism? Do they quash any inkling of an idea that they are in any way lacking or behaving abnormally?

(a) Opposite to quashing criticism, do they seem not to know what to do with it? Do they fence-ride on issues of interest and relevance? Is the Leader’s style of management wishy-washy and poorly defined? Do they seem not to want to hurt anyone by giving opinion? Do they have a recognizable set of values or do they go with whatever others in the group want?
14) How do the Leader/s, Priest/esses or other significant members of the Coven relate to children, animals and the disabled? Are they fair in their treatment of children? Of animals? The physically disabled or mentally challenged? Do they hurt, treat carelessly or advocate the hurting of any of these groups?
(a) How do the Leader/s, Priest/esses or other significant members of the Coven feel with regard to persons of different races or sexual orientations than themselves? Do they advocate treating such persons differently than others?